If the griever is in a calm, more content moment, share that moment with her.If he is weepy and taken over by a wave of sadness, stay steady with him but don’t try to fix him like a broken toy.How long does a person have to be isolated to prove they were hurt when a spouse died?Do people who say that grasp the magnitude of the inference they are making about the bereaved who are trying to heal and create a life for themselves?My husband\’s death gave me a chance to witness to others.
While we need to be cautious and protective of widow/ers who may be so fragile and vulnerable that they could be easily victimized (emotionally, financially or otherwise), I have come to see comments like, \”What do you mean she is dating?
Its only been a year and a half since her husband died!
\” as extraordinarily harsh to the point of cruelty.
I would have been insulted early in my grief if had anyone suggested that a future relationship would improve my happiness; it would have sounded to me like that person was saying my husband was disposable.
However, as I healed and began to look up and past the clouds of the moment, I began to have hope for the future and that included the possibility that I might eventually love again, but I needed to get to that place .